French Prank Calls
by Ame to Yume
Summary: Paris and her siblings Lyon, Marseille, Reims and Bordeaux have a lovely get-together and start making prank calls. Oneshot. Rated T because of a few swears, and because it's France's kids we're talking about!


**A/N: Since I was in the middle of an awful writer's block and wanted to get the good 'ole creative juices flowing, I decided to write this oneshot. Enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia is not mine. Got that, world?**

* * *

French Prank Calls

After the night was over, Sabine Hơng "Paris" Bonnefoy was quite sure her siblings were mad.

It was three o' clock in the morning, and the French capital was taking a much needed nap after she had traveled all the way to Russia to attend to yet another chaotic meeting that resulted, as usual, into nothing but arguments. Wrapped in pink, rose-themed blankets, Paris was unaware that four of her siblings decided it was alright to sneak into their sister's room and sing the song that annoyed her the most.

Well, BIG BANG's "Fantastic Baby" wasn't annoying _per se_, just that G-Dragon's voice was a bit too nasal for Paris' tastes.

Paris' hands uncoordinatedly fumbled for something in the dark. Then, light. Her blue gaze scanned the room, and then fell on her siblings.

"What are you four twits doing here?" she demanded in a rather loud voice

"Sabine, calm down. You don't wanna wake dad." Marie Bonnefoy, also known as Reims, said, reminding Paris that their father was quite the light sleeper

"Well, then you've got five seconds to explain or I _will _wake dad."

"We thought about having a sleepover." Denis Bonnefoy, the personification of the city of Lyon, explained simply "Wanna join?"

"Since you killed my beauty sleep, OK." Paris relented "Come here."

After a while, all were seated on the bed, and Paris asked:

"So, what are we supposed to do at this sleepover of yours?"

Reims fixed her pigtails.

"I dunno. How about prank calls? I've never done it before, but I think as long as we keep it to cities and capitals, we're alright."

"That sounds like a good idea." Frederique Bonnefoy, a man who could easily pass for his father France if he wanted and the personification of the city of Bordeaux, agreed

"OK, then." Anais Bonnefoy, also known as Marseille, said finally "Let's leave Rome and Riga out of this."

"Riga is too young and Rome...you know him." Paris agreed "Who are we prank-calling first?"

"I say we do Berlin." Paris said

"Use my phone." Marseille suggested "She won't recognize the number."

Lyon dialed the number, and soon enough, Berlin answered.

_"Who the hell is this, and how did you get my number?" _

"I am a messenger from Hell." Lyon said in monotone, with a surprisingly good English accent "I am holding the one you call Daisuke Honda hostage, and I am going to decapitate him. The only way to save him is to ask Adrianno Vargas on a date. Make your decision wisely."

Lyon hang up, and the five French siblings burst out laughing.

"Lyon, that was _priceless!_" Paris congratulated, wiping a tear out of her eye, symbolizing how much she had laughed

Lyon ran a hand though his wavy blonde hair.

"Thanks."

Marseille's phone rang, and Paris answered:

"_Allo?_"

_"Your brother did this on purpose, right Paris?" _

"Y'u got zhat right. Zhat being said, when's your date?"

_"Sometime after I finish dooming you."_

"Oh, come _on_, Berlin. Can't it wait until we finish prank calling everyone on the list?"

_"Alright, but only this once." _ Berlin said, and hung up

"Let's do D.C." Reims suggested "He's obnoxious."

"Here ya go then, Reims."

She dialed the number, and waited.

_"Alright, who is this?" _answered a grumpy American voice

"I have called to warn you." Reims said in a spooky voice "I will come to get you in a week's time. Use your last days upon this earth wisely."

_"W-who is this?"_

Reims' spooky voice switched to cheerful.

"A pink pony from beyond the rainbow! Want a pot of gold?"

Reims hung up, and the siblings burst out laughing once again.

"I want to do one." Bordeaux said "What's Konigsberg's worst fear?"

Paris scratched the back of her head.

"Purple penguins. Why?"

Bordeaux dialed the number, and soon he was met with a German voice on the other side of the line.

_"Ja?" _

"I have called to warn you." Bordeaux said "I will come to get you in a week's time."

_"Who is this?" _

"A messenger from Hell, aka the leader of the purple penguin squad. Use your last days wisely."

Konigsberg screamed like a girl, and Bordeaux hung up. His siblings fell over laughing.

"Can I go next? I wanna do Naples." Marseille said after they all calmed somewhat

"In you go, Marseille."

Marseille dialed, and a few rings later, she was met with the voice of one of Romano's children.

_"Who the fuck is this?" _

"Your secret admirer." Marseille said sensually "Go on a date with me on Valentine's Day, or I will break into your room and rape you, onhonhonhon~!"

Marseille hung up, and the five siblings were left in stitches laughing once again.

"Why won't you go next, Paris? I'm sure there's someone you want to prank."

Paris smirked. She knew _exactly _ who she wanted to prank. She dialed, and three rings later, a grumpy British voice came from the other side of the line.

_"Who the bloody hell is this?" _

In a perfect imitation of Berlin's monotone, Paris said:

"This is the Tea Police. We have discovered you drink rather large amounts of tea, and we do not want a tea shortage. Therefore, I suggest you either cut down on tea, or we will cut you off."

_"Alright, alright!" _London said desperately _"I will cut down, just don't cut me off!" _

"I can't believe she fell for that." Lyon commented "I mean, seriously, 'Tea Police'?!"

"Birdbrain..." Paris replied "Anyway, let's sleep before dad wakes up starts flipping planets."

"How in the fuck do you flip planets?" Lyon asked "Nevermind."

_The next morning_

The five French siblings were woken by the characteristic sound of a door being kicked down and a distinctive British voice saying:

"You're gonna die!"

Paris, Lyon, Bordeaux, Reims and Marseille all groaned. They were hoping for at least _a little _more sleep.

"Ngh...five more hours..."

* * *

**A/N: For anyone who's asking, Paris' middle name is Vietnamese, and it means "pink" or "rose". As far as everyone remembers, Vietnam was a French colony and part of French Indochina along with Laos and Cambodia. In my head-canon, Paris took the middle name "H****ơng" as both a reminder of that time and a sign of respect for Vietnam. London had done the same for India, but took the name "Ayati", meaning "royal". **

**That being said, feel free to review. **

**Lots of Love, **

**Yume-chan**

**PS: The 'five more hours' person at the end is Reims. **


End file.
